


Fragile Walls

by BrokenBones (Hikarinimichitasora)



Series: Apartment [2]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-29
Updated: 2013-08-29
Packaged: 2017-12-25 00:26:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/946488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hikarinimichitasora/pseuds/BrokenBones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He leans against the door afterwards, his heart pounding, because Jesus Christ voices like that should come with a licence and a policy that says you’re not allowed to use them without warning someone first. He spends the night watching True Blood, curled on his couch, wincing at how the accents aren’t as fluid or smooth as his neighbours and wondering if it’s a good idea to feed a spur of the moment attraction like that.</p>
<p>Prompt for iamnumberseventythree: AU where McCoy and Kirk are neighbors in a kind of shitty apartment complex meant for divorcees and people who can't afford anything else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fragile Walls

**Author's Note:**

> So I continued it showing Jim's side and a little extra at the end.

Jim can’t help but notice his new neighbour. He watches him move in with interested eyes. Watches as the man half drags, half kicks, his things into his apartment and then slams the door behind him. For the rest of the week, Jim is in and out of his department. The Observatory is closed for some maintenance work and he hits bars and clubs as per his usual routine, trying to ignore the way his whole body aches with effort to do so as he slides against faceless person after faceless person.

He doesn’t run into his neighbour and in a way, it makes him sad. He finally bumps into the neighbour two weeks after the other has moved in. He feels like shit, is hungover and his lip stings from the bar fight from the night before. The other introduces himself but Jim ignores it in favour of getting out of sight of eyes that he’s just sure are judging him.

He leans against the door afterwards, his heart pounding, because _Jesus Christ_ voices like that should come with a licence and a policy that says you’re not allowed to use them without warning someone first. He spends the night watching True Blood, curled on his couch, wincing at how the accents aren’t as fluid or smooth as his neighbours and wondering if it’s a good idea to feed a spur of the moment attraction like that.

The next week, Jim goes back to work and finds that his office has been effectively trashed in the maintenance. He does his best to get things together, working long days and forcing himself to stay until he’s completed what needs to be done. When he gets home he’s too tired to go out, so he sits on his sofa, watching documentaries about science and wildlife and people who are too fat to leave the house without needing a crane to lift them. He wonders if they’re happier than he is. He watches an antelope be torn apart by lion. Probably not.

Finally Saturday and he can hear fumbling out in the corridor. He pokes his head out, his heart thudding once, dangerously, as he sees that it’s Leonard McCoy there. He has a paper bag that looks far too overstuffed in his hands and he’s desperately trying to get his key in the door as he tries to balance the bag in his hands.

“I realised I never introduced myself last time. I’m James Kirk, friends call me Jim,” he says. Leonard nods and Jim watches as almost in slow motion, his fingers slip on the bag. He moves forward, stepping well inside McCoy’s personal space to grab at it.

Even worse is the sound of his door shutting behind him. His face heats. He realises that he’s not really dressed to be _anywhere_ , never mind introducing  himself, and he tugs on his sweatpants and wishes he’d thought to put on a shirt.

“Tell me you have a key kid,” Leonard says and he looks half-exasperated half-amused as Jim pats his pockets and tries his best not to feel like the world’s biggest idiot. He can feel a blush creeping up his neck but he forces it down.

“I’m going to have to call the lock smith and shit, there goes my deposit _again-_ “ He lets out a string of curses that feeds his anger and removes some of his embarrassment. Only half of them are aimed at himself, the rest at his situation, and maybe the door, for being too stupid to know he was only stepping outside for a _second_. When he pauses for breath, he notices that McCoy is looking at him with a strange warmth to his eyes and Jim’s breath is almost stolen from his chest.

“Want to come inside and wait for the ‘smith?” McCoy drawls and it’s all that Jim can do to play it cool and tighten his lips as he nods. He’s worried that if he says what he actually thinks, he’ll come across as an overactive puppy.

“Can I borrow your cell phone as well? I’m going to need to make a call,” he manages to force out. McCoy just nods, stepping aside and letting Jim into his apartment. His apartment doesn’t look like it’s a home, more like a temporary base. There are things still spilling out of boxes and McCoy’s laundry pile is so high it’s taken over a corner of the room. Jim instantly likes it though, because there’s just something broken about the place, but Jim can feel optimistic enough to know that it’ll get better.

“Love what you’ve done with the place,” Jim jokes, looking around. McCoy doesn’t reply, starting to shove things into cupboards. He seems to remember that Jim is waiting for something because he fishes into his pocket, turning and throwing his cell phone to Jim after a few moments.

“Here’s my cell. Knock yourself out,” he says. Jim glances down at the phone and sees the background image. It’s a little girl, clutching at a large golden retriever and smiling at whoever was taking the picture. It clearly isn’t a stock image. Jim feels his hopes of hitting on McCoy sink when he realises that this must be the man’s daughter.

He calls Scotty, because he knows the other will be able to at least _break_ the lock, if not get into his house by removing it. The man only lives a few streets away and it’s easier to pay for the damages than to pay for a locksmith.

He puts the phone down on the counter and nudges at one of the boxes with his foot. It’s a box of books but it’s not the usual drivel or boring, yet colourful, non-fiction books. All of them appear to be well-read, but nearly every single one is about surgery or other, equally distinguished, fields of medicine.

“Hey, are these medical textbooks?” he asks. McCoy jumps, hitting his head on the shelf. Jim can’t help but snicker as the other rises, rubbing the back of his head.

“Yeah. I’m a surgeon,” the other man grumbles. Jim can’t help but be impressed. McCoy looks too young to be a surgeon, but then Jim guesses he looks too young to be a Doctor of Astrophysics, so he lets it slide.

“What are you doing in a dump like this then?” he asks. Surely McCoy has enough, on a surgeon’s wage, to afford something better than this? Hell, Jim can afford something better than this, though he chooses not to move now he’s comfortable and settled.

“My wife cheated on me. Now she’s trying to take everything she can. She literally left me with my bones to my name. It’s been a rough few months,” McCoy explains and it’s a story that Jim has heard a dozen times by single men moving into this apartment block, so he can’t really explain how his heart twinges slightly at the thought that someone would do something that shit to someone as _hot_ as McCoy. With a good job as well.

“We should go out drinking when it’s all finalised, Doc,” Jim says, then frowns, because ‘Doc’ isn’t really a nickname. In Jim’s view, a nickname should be something that you have to explain, something personal that holds meaning only between two people. It ties people together and for Jim, it’s been the only thing that has managed to keep people with him for years now.

“We can go for drinks if you want. Though I gotta say, if you’re going to pick up some girl or guy, can you wait until I’ve gone off on my shift before having sex with them? It’s rather loud,” McCoy says, but he’s smiling. Jim feels his cheeks heating fully now and he laughs self-consciously as he tries to fight down how mortified he is by the fact that the doctor has _clearly_ been listening to him ‘entertain’ his guests.

“Oh sure thing, Bones,” he says, having finally settled on a name that seems appropriate. McCoy raises an eyebrow, but he doesn’t complain about the nickname or even question it. Jim thinks that perhaps McCoy is as lonely as he is.

He chats with McCoy, trying to find something the man is interested in while they wait. It’s barely five minutes before Scotty knocks on the door and Jim has to go. When he waves goodbye he’s almost certain that there’s a twinge of regret in McCoy’s eyes, but the door shuts in his face before he can say anything.

Scotty bitches at him and demands payment in Scotch. Once they’ve broken in and put on a new lock, Jim gets himself dressed and takes Scotty to a local bar. They both get so drunk they see double and Jim ends up finding a cute little blond thing that he bangs in the toilet. As a courtesy to Bones of course.

He doesn’t see McCoy again for a month. It’s odd, because he can hear him in his apartment sometimes, but their paths don’t cross. Jim considers going round and knocking on the door, but he doesn’t have the courage to just push his way into Bones’ apartment like that. Not after one chance meeting.

Maybe in another time or place he’d have gone for it, but his mind goes back to the picture on McCoy’s cell phone of the daughter his wife took away and he thinks that he’s not really the one to help someone deal with something like that.

He goes out and drinks the same as before. Only now he doesn’t bring people back as often. Hikaru comments that he thinks Jim is broken. Nyota just says that she thinks Jim has grown up. Only Scotty seems to realise that Jim has got his heart set on someone, and he plies him with drink enough that Jim opens up about his _incredibly_ hot neighbour and how he’s so _incredibly_ off-limits.

That night he stomps up the cold concrete steps, scuffing his toes against the yellow safety lines, when he sees Bones retching on the floor. He looks pathetic, like the life blood has been wrung out of him and been replaced by bourbon. When he sees Jim he tries to get himself together and wipes the corner of his mouth.

It’s a split second decision for Jim. He knows he could step over the man and continue his way up the stairs. Put an end to this stupid infatuation he has with a cold dose of reality. But he doesn’t. He kneels and gets Bones to put his arm around his shoulders. The other really stinks of day old clothes, vomit and hard liquor but Jim doesn’t wrinkle his nose.

He fumbles for his keys, trying to ignore the warm length of the other against his side and failing. When he finally gets them in the door, he feels relief flood him and he hastily sets McCoy down on his couch. His bed is only a few feet away but… Jim doesn’t want McCoy in his bed until he’s _in his bed_. He’s not sure he has the restraint for it.

He makes the other coffee and grabs a clean toothbrush that he has because… well. Because he’s used to people stopping over and leaving in the middle of the night. He sets it down on the floor next to Bones and watches as the other drifts off to sleep.

He feels like a loser as he watches Bones snore away on his couch. He reaches out, gently brushing away some of the hair from Bones’ face and tracing over the worry lines on the other’s brow. He catches himself leaning in and before he can press a kiss to the other’s forehead he’s jerking away.

He takes himself out of the apartment, unable to trust himself any longer, and down to a 24-hour diner where he nurses a cup of coffee and reads the same paper until the words are imprinted onto his brain.

Around sunrise, Jim starts to make his way back to the apartment. He’s waylaid by Nyota ringing him, asking him to pop to the observatory for a few hours. He sighs as he drags his body onto a bus, not trusting himself to drive. When she sees him, her eyes tighten and she scolds him. He does everything she asks him to do though, and despite being unshowered and reeking of alcohol, it doesn’t affect the quality of his report. She lets him go after that and dramatically sprays the reception with airspray on his way out.

He gets back to his apartment and isn’t surprised to find Bones gone. He showers, trying to get the image of Bones asleep on his couch out of his mind but unable to do so. He towels himself dry and orders food as he feels too lazy to cook. He then dresses himself in clean but comfortable clothes.

When the food arrives Jim realises that, subconsciously or not, he’s ordered enough for two. He drags his feet as he approaches Bones’ door and when he knocks his heart beats in time with his fist.

Bones sees him stood there and silent stands aside. Jim doesn’t know what to say to break the silence. Bones had drunk himself into a state where Jim was pretty sure he should have been hospitalised and he _looks_ terrible, his eyes bloodshot and his lips dry and cracked. He serves them both food and they both sit on the edge of Bones’ bed, picking at their food.

There’s got to be something he can do to help, Jim decides. He can’t let someone who clearly has so much ahead of them drink themselves into oblivion. It is that split second decision, another in less than twenty four hours, that leads Jim to share his own story. He’s not sure if it’s a warning to the other or an offer to listen, but the words are spilling out before he even has a chance to stop them.

“You know, I ran away from home when I was sixteen, and I’ve only ever lived in dives like this. Going from cardboard box apartment to cardboard box apartment, but you know you don’t have to. You’ve got a good job. You could build a life again,” he can hear himself saying. Bones just makes a non-committal noise and Jim knows that at the moment, the doctor isn’t in any position to see that light at the end of the tunnel.

“Come out with me tonight,” Jim says impulsively. He’s going to meet Scotty and Pavel, and he knows that Bones will like them. Everyone does. Especially Pavel. It’s the accent Jim thinks. Bones raises an eyebrow and Jim smiles, thinking that he might _just_ say yes this time.

“Come on Bones, we’ll get drunk, pick up women and get out of these four walls,” Jim says, gesturing to the boxes on the floor and the pile of washing up in the sink. He doesn’t want Bones to pick up anyone, but he can hardly protest against it. Bones has never given him an inclination that he is anything other than straight, and Jim doesn’t want to make it seem like his kindness only comes from wanting to fuck Bones into the mattress.

McCoy rejects him and Jim casts his mind around for other things to talk about. He lasts half an hour before he gives up and decides it’s time to leave. He can’t do this anymore and he knows that there’s just only so much you can take in one sitting. He gives Bones a smile when he leaves and sees that tinge of regret there again. He wonders why Bones can’t just give in and do what he wants for a change, but he lets it slide.

He’s ready and out in less than ten minutes, almost fleeing his apartment block in favour of the local bar. They know his order and direct him to his friends and really, he should feel like an alcoholic at this point, but he really needs to take the edge off.

He recounts his adventures to Scotty, who listens while making sarcastic comments. Pavel offers genuine advice that Jim knows he won’t take. They spend the next few hours talking before Pavel declares he has to go, he has a paper to turn in the next morning and has only left himself hours to write it. Jim rolls his eyes, because Pavel is a genius and he knows that the other is going to ace whatever it is he’s doing anyway.

They call it a night and Jim returns to his apartment. He watches the news on the television. The world is full of problems and they make his seem small and insignificant in comparison.

He decides not to give up yet though.

Over the next few weeks he continues to bring Bones food. It’s all he can do to stop the other from surviving on what Jim assumes is pure bourbon. One time he gets Bones’ shift pattern wrong and wakes him up. Bones is so adorable, almost falling asleep into the food that Jim gives him and insisting it’s fine and he’s not that tired. It’s all Jim can do to keep his hands to himself, especially when Bones drips ketchup down his chin and all he wants to do is lick it off.

It’s around that time that Jim realises there aren’t as many empty bottles in the recycling anymore. He feels a smile creep up his face tampered with the realisation that once Bones is cleaned up, he’ll probably move on. Still, he can’t help but feel happy for the other. He deserves a better life than the one he’s been handed so far.

He gets on with his life. Bones and his friendship has just become another part of it. He comes home and spends some of his time in Bones apartment, or sometimes in his, they eat together and tell each other stories. They play computer games on an archaic game system that Jim bought from a thift shop for $20 and reminisce about all the old games they played as kids.

“Hey, Bones, come out with me tonight,” Jim says as he gets his ass handed to him on Mario Kart for the third time. Bones puts down his coffee, raising an eyebrow at Jim before he red shells him and wins the game by a landslide.

“Sure,” he says and Jim’s heart nearly stops because Bones just _doesn’t_ say yes.

So they go out and Jim is trying to hide his crush so hard that he does what anyone else would have done in that situation. He runs away. He spends less of the night with Bones than he does with a girl he couldn’t give a rats ass about. He hates what he’s doing but he can’t stop. Especially when he realises that Bones has gone and he’s screwed things up completely.

He has sex with her, but it’s angry and resentful. She doesn’t seem to care too much but in the morning he winces when he sees the thumbprints on her hips and offers to pay for her cab. She leaves her number and Jim drops it in the trash the moment she’s gone.

He tries to see Bones over the next week, but Bones doesn’t answer the door. Jim tries to console himself by convincing himself that the other’s shift pattern had changed or he was working overtime, but he can hear Bones moving around in his apartment. He knows he’s screwed up.

It comes as a shock when Bones starts to seek him out again and they fall back into the easy friendship they had before. Jim doesn’t ask him out again and Bones doesn’t mention the night they did. Jim is finally managing to wrap his head around the fact that, perhaps, McCoy might be around for the long term and that in itself is beautiful and unexpected.

And then Jim gets sucker punched.

He walks into Bones’ apartment and it’s full of boxes. Well, it always is because Bones never really _unpacked_ but this time it’s full of boxes of things like kitchen utensils and his television has been carefully bubble-wrapped. Jim stares around at the apartment before turning to Bones.

“I, er, I found a place across town, you know? Got a promotion so I can cover the costs even with the money going to Joss,” Bones says and he looks awkward. Jim forces a smile to his face and claps the other on the back, wishing him all the best and saying how he better send photos of his new digs to make Jim jealous.

“You know, there’s a spare room… we could, er, split the bills or something?” Bones offers. Jim imagines himself waking up every morning to seeing Bones in his boxers, hair all mussed as he shuffles grumpily around. He imagines watching as Bones pulls his life together, starts dating again, starts bringing women home and _Jim_ is the one who has to listen to someone getting it on for a change. He laughs, because it’s ridiculous that he pinned his hopes on this one guy who never gave any inclination he wanted something more than friendship.

“Nah, you bolt. I belong in… in a place like this,” he says, because he can’t say that he belongs as far away from fucking up McCoy’s life as possible. He looks at McCoy, seeing how he’s paused, his fingers darkened with newsprint from where he’s been wrapping mugs.

“You ever feel like escaping though, you’ll know where I am,” he says, and he’s holding Jim’s eyes. It’s all Jim can do to swallow down the lump in his throat. He tries his best to break the gaze, tries his best to see what it is that McCoy is offering, but he can’t. He picks up some newspaper and a mug and helps the doctor pack instead.

Jim comes home from work a week later and no one answers the door when he knocks. He goes back to his apartment and puts his head in his hands, a bag of food for two sitting by his feet. He doesn’t know what to do with himself.

He grabs bourbon from under the sink, the last of the bottle, and drinks and drinks until he can’t feel anymore. Then he vomits it up and starts again. Scotty drags him from his house eventually, yelling at him that he hasn’t phoned into work to even let them know he was going to be off and that he better get his ass in an explain himself.

It turns out that Jim is too good a professor for them to fire him on the spot, so he gets a warning and he skulks off back home when no one is looking. After that he tries to clean himself up a bit. He doesn’t talk to the young woman who moves into Bones’ apartment, and he only goes through the motions of going out drinking with his friends.

It’s Scotty who tells everyone the reason for Jim’s moping, having put two and two together when he sees the new neighbour. At first they tease him about it, and Jim tries to get into the spirit of it, but he can’t and they soon stop when they see the genuine heartache in their friend.

It’s worse because Jim keeps on thinking he sees Bones everywhere and his heart leaps in his chest before it disappears. The worst thing is that Bones has left his forwarding address and Jim knows he could just go and see him, could just call him or send him a text and ask how he’s doing.

But the whole thing has been so unhealthy that he doesn’t. He can’t. He wants to, oh god, he wants to, but what will he do if Bones does answer? What will he do if Bones’ new girlfriend answers?

11 months pass. Jim gets evicted from his apartment because the girl next door accuses him of having his television on too loudly when she’s trying to sleep. It’s his third strike and he’s out. Luckily, Nyota sets him up with a decent apartment by the river.

His housewarming party is the first time Jim’s felt alive in months. They sip cheap cava out of champagne flutes and pretend that it’s the best sparkling wine they’ve tasted. They eat strawberries and chocolate and Pavel gets so drunk he tries to make out with Hikaru, who doesn’t so much shoot him down as promise him they’ll talk about it when they’re sober. Nyota brings her boyfriend and Jim can’t help but see the attraction, even if the guy is a little strange. Nyota just explains his _foreign_ and Jim decides not to push it. By the end of the night they have an awkward friendship blossoming.

Scotty is the one who finds Bones’ address on Jim’s countertop. He asks about ‘that doctor chap, y’know, the one who broke yer heart’. Jim shrugs and explains they haven’t been in touch. Nyota, already having had quite a lot of cava, tuts at him and tells him he should have chased love while he had the chance to.

Jim declines to comment, though it’s in the forefront of his mind that morning. He gets to the last digit of Bones’ number before he chickens out and goes to watch television and eat ice cream instead.

In the end, it’s chance. He barely believes it when he sees Bones there, smiling at him, a little girl by his side. The doctor looks good, his skin slightly tanned, his hair neat and waxed. His smile is warm and it makes something settle into the pit of Jim’s stomach that feels like warm cocoa spiced with chili. It squirms pleasantly.

He takes Bones’ hand, squeezing it and clapping him on the shoulder. Bones seems genuinely happy to see him and up close Jim feels breathless. He had thought that time would make things better, but it seems to have only made his crush worse.

“So this is Joanna?” Jim asks, kneeling down and shaking Joanna’s hand too. The little girl giggles at him and Jim rises to his feet. Bones looks like he wants to say something, but isn’t sure how to word it.

“I didn’t know you were a _professor_ ,” he says finally and Jim grins.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Doctor McCoy,” he replies, unable to keep the flirting out of his tone. He doesn’t believe in fate or destiny or any of that crap, but he can’t let this opportunity pass by. He has to make his intentions clear, now.

“Maybe we could… catch up? You know, come round mine for… er… dinner and a few drinks?” Bones says and Jim’s heart beats once, twice, three times hard in his chest. It sounds like a date but it might not be.

“So long as I don’t have to drive back until the morning,” he replies, and he raises his eyebrow just enough for it to be an innuendo. And to his delighted surprise, Bones doesn’t slap him down and reject him, but the man actually blushes a little.

“We need to catch up, Bones!” he says while Bones collects himself. And what Jim means is, we need to make up for lost time and make good use of your mattress.

“Did you move out of that old box of an apartment?” Bones asks, seeming to have finally put himself together. Jim feels a sinking sensation when he realises that he’s not really going to want to talk about what he’s been doing for the last year after all.

“I, er, I got evicted actually. Ended up taking a much nicer place closer to the river though,” he says, hoping to make it seem like he actually had his shit together. He sees Bones glance down at his daughter and knows that they aren’t going to talk about this now. Not with impressionable young ears there to listen.

“I’ll see you Friday then?” Bones asks and Jim notices there’s a slight waver to his voice. He reaches out without thinking, tracing his fingers over the back of Bones’ hands before squeezing it softly.

“Depends. How offended are your neighbours going to be by noise?” he asks and he keeps his tone as innocent as he can, watching Bones’ face, wondering if he’s read everything right after all. Bones turns bright pink and splutters while Joanna looks on confused. Jim feels like a weight has lifted from his shoulders.

“Well, I have thicker walls this days,” Bones replies and Jim feels like crowing but he doesn’t. Instead he takes a few steps backwards, because if he doesn’t he’s going to grab Bones by the hair and molest his mouth.

“I’ll see you Friday, Bones,” he says as he steps away, waving and returning to the observatory. Inside, he blinks a few times before his eyes settle on Nyota and Scotty who are lurking in reception.

“Well. He was handsome,” Nyota comments lightly. Jim lets a smirk stretch across his face.

Six months later, he watches Leonard McCoy half-drag, half-kick Jim’s things into their apartment with a smile on his face and a warm feeling in his chest. Joanna tugs on his shirt, asking him if she can use one of the boxes to make a castle out of later. He nods and lets her upturn a box of books onto the carpet.

By the time Bones gets upstairs he’s red-faced and out of breath. Jim takes the box from him and sets it on the floor. The door is barely closed when Jim twines his fingers in Bones’ hair, sliding his other hand to cup his jaw and kisses him, tangling their tongues together until Bones draws back, lips pink and parted.

“Where’s Joanna?” he asks and Jim rolls his eyes, sliding his arms around Bones’ neck and just holding onto him.

“Making a castle out of boxes,” he replies, feeling Bones’ strong arms wrap around his waist. He closes his eyes, breathing in the scent of Bones, sweat and shower gel and a touch of cologne, maybe, underneath it all.

“We’re not moving again. I don’t care if the walls here are made out of paper. This is our home now,” Bones grumbles, kicking at a box behind Jim with his foot. Jim doesn’t let him move, not having finished with his cuddling yet. He buries his face in Bones’ neck, kissing it lightly.

“Yep. This is home now.”


End file.
